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SENGEHENYDD NEWS - .Julia n SHORT has purchased condoms but is frightened to tell his girlfriend in case she kicks his head in.

Incoming news she has just threatened to cut his balls off !!!If he looks at another woman. HE HAS JUST WON THE I LOOK LIKE CHESNEY FROM CORONATION STREET WORLD AWARD THE REAL CHESNEY FINISHED SECONDHe is hoping to colour his hair before going on the trip as fat people get more shags than skinny gingers. Attention all previous lions former Lion Dean Ford alias Leg End is looking to purchase or borrow an official Lions Squad Blazer as he lost happy guts Sammy Pedro's on Tour with Sneggy RFC under 16's. BOZ has requested via his contacts with CCBC that trading standards call at Senghenydd RFC to establish wether or not Sandra is watering down her beer with horlicks. Big thank you to the tramp who looked after Boz last week who appeared to have an alergic reaction to a Kebab after drinking 15 pints of beer , laced with Horlicks. Boz has vowed never to drink Horlicks again as he wakes up with a sore arse.TROUTY & SHARON have been nominated as next tours official Lions Tour managers can evereyone please attend at Shuns Bar reare of Park Cottages Sengenyddfor a 12 o clock start to officially start the Tour . BOZ has promised to bring his own cans but the date is up on them.GRIPPO can you please do the same as BOZ as they are thinking of naming a beer sucking parasite after the pair of you.

British Customs have refused TAMPLIN a visa to South Africa as it is claimed his ears are bigger in proportion to his body than that of an African Elephant ,they are frightened he may get shot for ivory in the hours of darkness. His first passport was refused as the photograph was too old and the second one has saved his bacon however he is getting repeated requests from staff for a dinner date in the passport office. refused gigolo ACCEPTED. Should any ladies or gentlemen wish to take advantage of TAMPLINS new escort services please visit I'm a crap shag dot com. This has nothing to do with Julian Shorts site of I'm a ginger crap shag dot com.

Senghenydd Tour Room Conspiracy.. There are growing rumours of a conspiracy from the tour members surrounding room allocation, people are trying to pick who they sleep with when we all know once intoxicated they will sleep with anyone or anything for that matter. BOZ has stated that he has every confidence in Shun MORGAN compiling a fair system for the rooms.As BOZ has stated he would trust him with a wheel barrow.Although one request has come via John Griffiths GRIPPO that would it be possible to room with his brother in law, Dean the LEG END FORD as they were welded together like a pair of spoons in a cutlery drawer on the under 16's Tour . We hope Dean has a speedy recovery from his anal injuries , GRIPPO is currently on bail pending forensic evidence. He is prime suspect as upon going to the Doctor for a wart on his helmet it was found to be a sweetcorn under his foreskin.BOZ made me say it.And Julian forced him to make him say for me to do it.

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